To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Forgiveness is a deliberate act of love, mercy, peace, kindness, patience and Grace. It is one of the hardest things that people find difficult to do, mainly because of the trust that they had with the person who had done them wrong. It is not easy to forgive someone who you took as a family and shared everything with, your life, your goals and your dreams and then find them to turn against you. Or maybe they haven’t been there for you throughout your life when you needed them. Those kind of events are hard to let go and that is normally where the seed of unforgiveness starts to develop and sooner or later it grows larger when we water it with anger, hate, slander, grudges and so many more.
One thing you must know is that although these people have hurt you to the point that you submit yourself to never forgiving them again, you are giving the power of your happiness to them. When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power over your life. You may ask how their power affects your life. Well, when you choose to not forgive someone, you choose to bind your happiness with the forces of lives negativity. It is painful what they have done to you but in the end, you want to have a peaceful and happy life where you can be able to communicate with anyone without any painful feeling inside you.
You may also say that the situation is deeper than that, or it’s just not possible for you to forgive him or her, but you must ask yourself “what will I gain from it?” What will you gain from holding back on forgiving people who have wronged you so that you can move on with your life? What do you have to lose anyway to forgive someone? Your pride? Your dignity? Your respect? But you must think, you’re not always perfect, in fact, no one is perfect! Only God is perfect and He is the one who puts forgiveness in the heart of people to forgive you. You have to look at yourself too. You have to realise that you are only here by the Grace of God and that you too have done wrong to others but by the mercy of God, they were able to forgive you. What about the known and unknown sins you commit every day and yet you are still moving by Grace? Isn’t it God who forgives us all our sins?
The Bible says in Luke 17 verses 3-4 “So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repeat’ you must forgive them”. It is a command from God to forgive others as quickly as you want God to forgive you.
You must not allow any man to put you low enough to hate him. Life becomes easier when we learn how to accept an apology we never got. Forgiveness never changes the past but it can enlarge the view of the future.
By forgiving others we are not saying that their actions were good, but we are simply saying that vengeance is of the Lord and as we are letting go of the hurt that has caged us we unlock new doors of happiness and shut the doors of resentment. We must forgive others and extend Grace as we have been shown Grace by God.
Remember that one day, you too will need to be forgiven be someone else. When you refuse to forgive someone for the wrong they have done to you, you are actually giving power to someone else to hold grudges against you and not to release their act of forgiveness towards you.
Unforgiveness is a powerful self-harm that can kill without any physical pain. Its symptoms consist of hate, bitterness, anger, self-righteousness, slander along with malice. It may seem like a weakness or an undeserving person has won but you are only doing yourself a big favour. It doesn’t always have to mean that you’re right; you just want to set yourself free and at peace of mind.
You must cultivate the attitude of forgiving people quickly and not going to bed being angry or hating someone because it can ruin your whole day the next morning or even worst, your whole life.
If someone offends you, give yourself time to reflect on the matter, depending on the issue because if it’s something serious and could have hindered your progress then there may be a need to separate yourself from the person. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t forgive me; you should free your mind so that whenever you see them you can freely have a conversation with them instead of trying to dodge them but as the Bible says, guide your heart from all evils.
We are all different individuals and we go through different experiences and the issues I encounter with an individual and my act of forgiving them will always be different to yours and that is why it is very important to involve God in your life because He is the only one that can change a person’s heart. When you allow God to move and dwell in your life, the person who you thought you can never on this earth forgive because of what they have done to you, you will see that God will touch your heart to the point that you will be the one to call the person and start a conversation with them, that’s how powerful His presence is in our lives.
Forgiveness not only draws you closer to your goals but it helps you achieve them quicker than the time span life has budgeted for you. It also shows an element of growth and movement in the direction of your true destiny and it helps you move forward quickly in life and shortens the years of your struggles.
Likewise, we tend to hold ourselves responsible for the things that have happened to us in the past and we refuse to forgive ourselves. Every experience that we go through in this world was scheduled to teach us a lesson and to grow us into the person God has destined us to be. Think about it, what if you didn’t go through that experience, would you be as wise as you are now, or what if you didn’t go through that pain or hurt would you know who your true friends and families are or would you know how God wanted you to be treated in a relationship. There is a purpose and a time for everything. Forgive yourself so you can move on with the rest of your life. Stop holding yourself accountable for the mistakes or regret of the past, you are here now, you survived and there is still more chapters and stories in your life to be written, don’t write it in hate, regrets, pain and shame. God has freed us from all of that when He died for us on the cross so that the only thing we have to do is to believe on Him and live our lives to the fullest with no regrets.
Forgiveness gives you a heart that draws near to God quickly. Everything God has authorised us to do is for our benefits so that we can experience His Grace and Mercies over our lives. The amount of times each individual has sinned against God, it’s enough for God to wipe out the whole world, but yet he didn’t see our wrongs He continuously showers his Grace and forgiveness over our lives each day. It also locates you to opportunities that you never thought were available to you.
When you cease to forgive people it;
- Tightens financial status
- Increases the chances of early sickness, ie Hypertension, etc
- Shows a sense of proudness and the words “I forgive you” becomes very difficult to say
- Stops uncommon blessing and favour from locating you
- Stops and blocks uncommon protection in the spiritual world, withholding your angels to work for you.
- Hinders miracles to take place in your life
- Makes you a bitter person regardless of whether you realise it or not
- Stir up hate, envious and jealousy in you
- Increase setbacks
- Gives you a first class ticket to hell when you die
- And many more
Unforgiveness unsettles your mind and if you are constantly thinking and replaying the event that took place between you and the person, either you’re angry or mad about it, it’s your conscious telling you to act on what you are feeling. Do something about it. Reach out to the other person, communicate with them, and let them know how you are feeling and how it’s affecting you. Always try and communicate if someone has offended you, don’t just block them from your life completely because anything can happen and if you miss a chance to reconcile with them you may have to carry the burden on your shoulder blaming yourself that you didn’t make things right when you had the chance. You will notice that when you decide to communicate with them that so much weight will be lifted off your shoulder giving you a sense of relieve.
When you do what is right and you feel all wrong about it, that’s when you grow spiritually and that’s the stretch for you, it doesn’t mean it’s easy but it means you are obeying God’s command and that you are growing and maturing into the person you were destined to become.
Whether you are the person who needs to be forgiven or you’re the person who needs to forgive, your heart needs to be surrendered to God because He’s the one that can change the heart of a man. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander”- Matthew 15 verses 19. You must ask God to give you a heart like a child because no matter how much children fight with each other, you will see that within 1 hour they are best friends again. Why? Because their hearts are still pure, although they may get angry, they’re heart is quick to forgive. The Bible explains this clearly in Matthew 18 verses 3 which says “and said, “Truly I say to you, if you are not converted and become as the little children, you shall never enter into the kingdom of the heavens.”
Learn to say “I forgive you” or ” I’m sorry” and you’ll see incredible changes that will begin to take place in your life.
Below are bible verses on what God says about forgiveness and how He shows the world mercy and forgiveness.
Numbers 14: 19-21
Matthew 26: 28
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